


used

by roastedsunflowerseeds



Series: ranboo-centric fics [3]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Drabble, Hurt No Comfort, Manipulation, No Dialogue, This is better than it looks i promise, i break apart one of my favorite dynamics because apparently i like to suffer, i'm a technoblade apologist but you couldn't tell from this, it's all very vague, of some sort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29368263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roastedsunflowerseeds/pseuds/roastedsunflowerseeds
Summary: And he didn't blame them.-tw // vague suicidal thoughts+ this is about the rp characters, not the actual ccs themselves. if they're uncomfy with fanfictions like this I'll take this down.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: ranboo-centric fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158977
Comments: 3
Kudos: 107





	used

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even think this would happen/want them to happen, i just wrote and this happened

Ranboo can’t trust anyone. No matter how much he wants to. No matter how much personal info he’d be willing to share with someone, no matter how much he cares for them, no matter how much he’d be willing to die for them, he can’t trust them. Ranboo can’t, he can’t, and it hurts, it _hurts_ but he can be used. He can be used as a tool, bent to other people’s whim, his memory issues can be taken advantage of.  
  
No, he trusts them. Ranboo trusts them, but he shouldn’t, and he’s ready to leave at any moment if he needs to. He trusts them but he can’t put it out of the realm of possibility that he can be _used_ , he can just be a _tool_ to anyone who knows him well enough. Ranboo trusts Phil and Techno but can’t deny that the secret they’re keeping might just be him meaning nothing to them, just something to use and throw away once you’re done yet. His thoughts are conflicting and it’s confusing himself, he trusts but he _knows_ he might just mean nothing to everyone he considers himself friends with.

Yet he clings anyways, trusts anyways, cares anyways despite the fact he’d been used before and could be used again, maybe just because it feels nice to feel cared about, even if it might all be a lie. He keeps a backpack in the corner if he needs to run if his suspicions are true, and then he’d be completely on his own. He keeps his own secrets for his own sake, he pretends he doesn’t hear Dream’s voice in his head, and he deals with it on his own because he knows he should be in prison but he _can’t,_ as selfish as that thought process is.

Everyday Ranboo’s hand brushes the backpack, gears turning as he considers leaving all of it behind. But unfortunately, he cares too much about everyone to do that, and so it stays a last resort. It’s unfortunate that he has nobody to rely on, nobody he could trust not to betray him. Would he be hurt? Yes, absolutely yes, it would be painful. But would he be surprised?  
  
No. He wouldn’t. He’d understand why. It’s easy to manipulate him, he’s an easy target, he’s willing to throw away his own morals just to help other people. His memory prevents him from telling anyone else and his enderwalking state was a whole other problem. It makes sense. If Techno and Phil were using him, Ranboo wouldn’t blame them, even if the thought hurts and makes him want to curl up in a ball for the rest of the day.

* * *

And he didn’t blame them.

Ranboo didn’t blame them when he found out, he didn’t blame them when his backpack finally came to use, and he didn’t blame them when he was on the brink of death in the cold.

_It was so, so cold._

He didn’t blame them when he realized his memory book had been tampered with, carefully edited so there was less chance of him realizing the truth.

_“It’s okay,” he had said, “I know I’m really easy to manipulate. I’m easy, right? You don’t even need to try.”_

Maybe it was just Ranboo’s mind tricking him but he swore they looked guilty.  
  
One night in the freezing cold Ranboo had wondered if he’d only ever be worth something as a tool for other people’s needs, if he’d ever feel real companionship, if he’d ever find someone who cared as much as he did. The same night he wondered if it would be better to lay in the snow and freeze until all three of his canon lives were sucked away.

 _Nobody cares about you,_ Dream's voice hissed in Ranboo's head. _Nobody ever has._

 _Choose sides, not people,_ Ranboo thought bitterly. _But no one would ever choose me._


End file.
